"I want a new look. For a change."
But they would just give me an unconvinced look. Okay, here's the thing. I couldn't exactly tell that it's because of my messed up love life that's why I have to crop my hair this short because in the first place I haven't been into a relationship for 2 years since I broke up with my ex. So there's no reason for me to do a thing like this. But to be honest, yes I'm heartbroken that's why I did this.
Just like Basha in the movie and every other girl I know, cutting their hair short after a break up seems to be a tradition, a stereotype. But why? At first I didn't really get the point. What the hell does it have to do with a haircut? But doing this means a lot more than you know.
Moving on. Wow! Big words I should say. Ending a relationship isn't easy. And moving on is a lot harder. It can't be done for a day or two. Yes, I could attest to that because it took me almost 2 years before I moved on from breaking up with my ex. But as we say, in every ending there comes a new beginning though we are never sure if it's going to be good but at least there is an assurance that there's something we have to look forward for. And here enters the issue of having a haircut. It gives you a new look, a new you, a new beginning, a new life you have to look forward. Even the people around you could see that because they'd be seeing a new side of you. Having a haircut also gives a feeling of youthfulness, it makes us feel young again (that's the first impression I got from my family), it reminds us that it is never too late to start over and do better. Also a haircut is good for your hair, I mean the dry ends, split ends or whatever bad hair conditions are removed so that your hair would grow healthier, shinier, more filled with life. That's how it is with your relationship, sometimes we have to end it because it's bringing us no good anymore. It only pains us, hurts us and make us regret every decisions we've made. If that's the case, it's better to live without it because sooner or later you'd find a better one, a person that is worth loving unconditionally and a relationship that is worth fighting for, it only takes time just as how much time you have to wait to grow your hair back to its original length.
I remember the part of the movie where I cried the most is when Janus committed suicide (by drinking a shampoo) and was brought to the Hospital. Popoy and Basha was there. And also Trish (Maja Salvador), Popoy's current girlfriend that time.
"Baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng mga taong mahal naten, kase baka merong bagong darating na mas OK, na mas mamahalin tayo, yung taong hindi tayo sasaktan at paaasahin, yung nagiisang taong magtatama ng mali sa buhay naten, nang lahat ng mali sa buhay mo."
Even until now it makes me cry. I think this is the best line in the movie. It should remind us that whenever a person leaves us, it's for a reason. Maybe we'd find someone new. Maybe he/she will come back and realize our worth. We never know. But surely our misery won't last forever.
I watched this movie right before having my hair cut. I needed pieces of advice but I don't want my friends to be bothered about it so I decided to find answers from this movie and it was a good idea. I was enlightened and I felt sure about my decision. My decision of moving on. I won't put in details what happened to my love life because it's too messed up to describe, all I know is that I fell for a guy who doesn't see my worth and used me as a rebound. This is the problem with me. This is the reason why I don't want to be committed after my relationship with my ex because I always fall for the wrong guy. And worst, I keep on pushing away the people who care so much for me. Because it's easier that way. I don't want to mislead them and let them expect for things I couldn't give. Oh gosh! I'm such a dumper. I feel guilty.
Having my hair cut short will always remind me of my process of moving on from this guy I have loved so much. I should end this fantasy of mine and wake up in reality. I guess it isn't the right time besides I'm still not ready. And he's not the right guy either. How I wish I'd be able to tell him...
"Mahal na mahal kita, at ang sakit-sakit na."
For you to have an idea on how big of a change I had, here are some of my pictures.
Many of my friends were really disappointed because they have no idea about my plans of doing this. Mainly because I don't want anyone to interfere. I want to do this because it's what I like. It's my hair anyway. Even if at some point I miss my long hair but eventually it will get back to how it was before. Even the hairstylist was a bit hesitant to cut my hair. She asked me many times if I was sure about it. And then when she started doing it, tears are flowing from my eyes and she felt guilty. Hahahah!
But it's a good idea I think. I feel better. I feel young. I feel like a new person writing a whole new story with joy in her heart and peace in her mind. Doing big decisions like this is very fulfilling especially when you know that you're on the right track with the right pace. I need not to worry my life away because it would only suck all the enthusiasm and vigor that I have at present. The best thing to do for now is to go with the flow and live my life to the fullest with no doubts.
Welcome to the new me :)
