I Envy Her...

Looking at the mirror, with my face still painted with make-up from last evening's event. I was too exhausted and tired that I forgot I'm still wearing my make-up and slept on it. And now I look filthy and untidy. My hair is still on its murdered look. It was, well a very memorable night for me as the memories flash on my mind.

It was my friend's 18th birthday, a really close friend of mine. It was my first time to attend such event. I felt really excited. In fact, I was about to perform because I'm a part of the cotillion. Unfortunately, my partner wasn't able to come for some reasons. Too bad, I was already on my gown which my Mom prepared for me when I knew about it. I hastily ran back to the car to change outfit.

The party started late. There are so many people, unfamiliar faces everywhere. I was with my mom and few girlfriends. We were seated on the front part so I could visibly discern everything that's happening.

I don't know why but I'm really excited to see my friend come down the stairs. Everyone's waiting for her, the debutante. And then the time came, the host called for her name and suddenly everyone stopped from whatever they were doing, including me. My friend came down with her escort on her side. She's wearing a very beautiful princess-like gown. I don't know how long I was staring at her. She's very beautiful, that's too obvious. My eyes went teary, I'm not sure why. Maybe because I can see right from her eyes how happy she was.

Few minutes later and it was already my turn to give her a massage. I'm really really trying hard to control my emotions. I don't want to cry in front of her and the crowd watching us. But I can't stop my tears. The words continuously came out from my mouth not thinking what was I talking about anymore. I thanked her, gave pieces of advice and wished her a happy birthday.

The program went well. She's the star of the night with a very charming escort not leaving her side. I wonder what his name was. HAHAHA! Just kidding.

And then the best part which I think is the most emotional of all was her 18 roses. Her first dance was her eldest brother and then her second brother. So I was imagining myself too, celebrating my 18th birthday. It would probably look like this. My two brothers would be dancing with me. My tears again started to flow from my eyes. And the last part where I got carried away was her dance with her father. As soon as the song "Dance with my Father" played, I almost jump out from my seat. It was my favorite song. And then her father went to her holding a rose and gave it to her. They hugged each other tight. And there I cried. That is when I envy her the most. She's so lucky for having a chance to dance with her father. I felt happy for her and at the same time I pity myself. My inner goddess tells me that I won't be able to experience that. Never. I won't be able to dance with my father like that. How could I if he's already gone? I cried harder but I tried to hide it from my friends beside me.

And then, after few more hours, the party already ended. I bid goodbye to her and kissed her. While heading home, still I was thinking about her dance with her father. It left me dumbfounded. I wish I was her. I wish I could also dance with my father on my 18th birthday. I envy her so much.